Parody of a Saga

Vampires Suck

Starring: Jenn Proske, Matt Lanter, Diedrich Bader, Chris Riggi

Rating: PG-13

Score: 2.5/4


Don't think that I disliked this movie based on the scoring, it was actually very funny. At least, it was hilarious in the beginning and through the middle. After that it started fizzling out. However, I enjoyed it immensely and would recommend it.

The movie is a parody of both Twilight and New Moon and does a spot-on job of mocking some of the finer points of the stories. Edward and Bella’s chastity is a running joke in the spoof as is Jacob’s werewolf transformation. Every time we see Jacob he becomes more and more dog-like. The actress who played Bella, called Becca in the spoof, did a fantastic job. She had Kristen Stewart’s way of mumbling down perfect and fully represented the irritating teen angst that Bella stands for. Edward’s name in the movie is Edward Sullen and he also did a very good job playing the moody vampire with internal battles about Bella’s safety.

The most enjoyable part of the movie was the appearance of 'Team Edward' and 'Team Jacob' fan girls. As most people know the Twilight craze has spawned those enamored 'Twihards' who gladly fight over fictional characters.

While this movie is intended for those who couldn't stand Twilight it could also be enjoyable for those who do like it. Keeping in mind that the purpose of the movie is to make fun, I think that anyone could enjoy this.

The climax is actually anti-climatic when the 'Zolturis' and Edward come head to head at the prom, but the rest of the jokes are laughable. When I saw it the entire theater was always laughing at something, even the adults.

Spotlight on an Author

Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Susan E. Phillips is best known for her Chicago Stars books, 7 stories that follow Stars football players. The books can be read in any order although the correct order can be found on Phillips's website.
Phillips's books are contemporary romances but what sets them apart from others is the humor. Her stories are rife with wit, sarcasm, and verbal jousting that will have you laughing out loud while you read.
The first book of Phillips that I read was Match Me If You Can which is the sixth book in the Stars series. I fell in love with the style of storytelling and looked up her other books. MMIYC was a definite favorite along with Ain't She Sweet?. Her main characters are enjoyable without being too perfect, you can identify with, admire, or just plain enjoy them. The main girl is usually independent and strongly opinionated and won't take crap from the guys.

Match Me If You Can

The story follows Annabelle Granger, a spunky redhead trying to keep her late grandmother's matchmaking business afloat. Annabelle manages to snag Heath Champion as a client. Heath is a ruthless sports agent, infamous for his razor sharp instincts, cunning, and nicknamed 'The Python'.
Annabelle is also competing against Portia Powers, the founder and head of Power Matches, who is also trying to find the perfect wife for millionaire Heath.
Heath doesn't believe Annabelle will succeed; she's disorganized, bouncy, and altogether a mess. But together they will find out that maybe Heath's definition of a 'perfect wife' is not what he thought it was...

Ain't She Sweet?

Sugar Beth Carey was once the most well-known girl in the small town of Parrish, Mississippi. The daughter of the town's wealthiest man Sugar Beth was haughty, arrogant, and downright mean to her enemy, Winnie Davis. But Sugar Beth's reign comes to an end when she falsely accuses Colin Byrne, a young teacher from England, of sexual harassment as a form of revenge against him. Colin is sent back to England in disgrace and when the town finds out Sugar Beth lied, she also leaves town in disgrace.
Fast forward more then ten years. Sugar Beth is broke and desperate. She returns to Parrish to look for a valuable family painting to sell. What she finds when she returns home is a crowd of enemies waiting to knock her down, Colin living in her former family mansion, and no sign of the painting she desperately needs.
Will Sugar Beth be able to make up to old friends and apologize to bitter enemies? Her home life is probed during her stay and it's found that her glamorous life wasn't so perfect.

Susan Elizabeth Phillips is a wonderful read. Her books are carried forward by a sense of humor, a love of romance, and a desire for happy endings. Her books can be found at any library or bookstore. 

Reflections

Reflections from the Past
by Audrey Howard


Abby Murphy is working-class poor Irish in Lancashire, England in the 1860s. She lives in a sod cottage with her parents and many siblings and plans to marry her childhood friend and sweetheart Roddy Baxter.
One day a horrific accident happens at the glassworks that employs most of the village, the son of the owner is killed. The owner, Mr. Goodwin, has no other children and therefore the glassworks will pass out of the family that has owned it for many generations.
Mr. Goodwin arrives one day at the doorstep of Abby's cottage demanding she come away with him; Abby is actually his illegitamate granddaughter and the heiress to the glassworks. Abby is forced away with him and then pushed into a marriage with Noah Goodwin, the manager of the glassworks. Their marriage is one of convenience so that the works will stay in the family and so Abby will have children and continue the Goodwin line. In order to ensure Abby's marriage to Noah, Mr. Goodwin arranges the kidnapping and forced enlisting of Roddy Baxter so that he will not stand in the way. With Roddy out of the picture Abby and Noah commence with their marriage. But, Roddy returns a year later more determined than ever to have Abby. Abby must choose between her husband and sweetheart and be prepared to give up what that choice entails.

This book is a long read at 457 pages, it's a complex story with a likeable cast of characters. However, it's painful to read Abby's choices. I was cringing the whole time and actually flipped to the back of the book to see the ending. It takes awhile to figure out what time period it is set in because no actual dates are mentioned until about halfway through the book. Noah is not always likeable but you can tell he (sometimes) has a good heart. Roddy is earnest and honest but quite frankly a little annoying, at least to me, after awhile.

I did like the story though; I don't know that I would read it again but all in all it was enjoyable.

Book vs. Movie: The Chronicles of Narnia

Whenever a movie is made of a favorite book I'm always torn. I'm so excited that I'll get to see my favorite story acted out but on the other hand what if it's terrible? It would ruin the experience! Many times the movie will divert from the original storyline and sometimes it's tolerable and sometimes it's terrible. I would say that just about every time the book is better than the movie. But, a side by side comparison will also show the movie is not so bad. 

I decided to start to with a book from a well-known and much loved book series, Prince Caspian by C.S. Lewis. This book is the fourth in the series but actually picks up where the second book- The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe- ends. Peter, Susan, Edmund, and Lucy are on their way back to school when they are pulled by magic back into the magical land of Narnia. There, they are met by Trumpkin, a dwarf who has been sent to bring them to the person who summoned them. The summoner is Prince Caspian who seeks help trying to overthrow his uncle Miraz who is tyrannically ruling Narnia. The children must make their way to Caspian and help him save Narnia from a man who would eradicate all the magical beings. Along the way, they gain help from the mystical lion Aslan. 

In the book, Prince Caspian and Peter work well together. Peter is a competent, though sometimes struggling, leader who tries to make the best decisions for his family. In both the book and movie everyone looks up to him, being the High King and oldest brother. In the movie, Caspian and Peter clash. By the England's time the children have only been away for a year, in Narnia time it's been more than a thousand. In the movie, Peter steps back into his position of authority, but Caspian has gotten used to being the leader. Their positions of authority clash and is not helped when Susan and Caspian develop feelings for each other (which did not happen in the book!). 

Usually, it really bothers me when a scene is added to the movie that did not occur in the book. This happened with Prince Caspian, but it turned out well because it revealed the dynamics of the Narnians. In the movie, once Peter and his siblings have reached Caspian Peter decides to make an attack on Miraz's castle. Caspian disagrees and this becomes another tense argument between he and Peter. Another thing that is in the movie and not the book is that the bad guys all have accents and look Mediterranean. This doesn't bother me but, the first time watching the movie can be difficult when trying to decipher accents. 


All in all, I really enjoyed the movie representation even though it didn't always follow the book.

Pointedly Intriguing

P

Point of Honour
by Madeleine E. Robins

It's a sad thought that if you make the wrong choice in life, your entire social standing is ruined. But that is what has happened in Point of Honour. 
Sara Tolerance was once a young lady from a good family; when she runs away to Amsterdam with her brother's fencing master that all ends. Twelve years later, Sarah's love has died of an illness and Sarah returns to Regency England and lives with her aunt, who is the mistress of a high-class brothel. Sarah has two choices: as a 'Fallen Woman' she must either become a prostitute to earn her money or find another profession. So, Sarah becomes an agent of inquiry. She "...is able to float between social layers, unearth secrets, find things that were lost, and lose things too dangerous to be kept." 
Sarah is hired by Lord Versellion to find an antique fan that his father gave to an old friend. Versellion insists that finding the fan is essential to keeping a family secret. As it turns out, Sarah is not the only person looking for the fan. In a world of treachery, political plotting, and murder, Sarah must find her footing in a man's world and try and earn her keep as an agent of inquiry. But everyone is not who they say they are and nothing can be taken at face value.

I really enjoyed the story, I was kept guessing through the plot twists and could not predict much of the ending. While Sarah's personality is not very developed the story is an easy read. The world of brothels is complex and interesting. The book was released in 2003 with a sequel called Petty Treason released in 2004. I would recommend this to anyone interested in mystery and intrigue. It's a fun read!   
 

For Aspiring Writers

There are many websites dedicated to young adults and their stories. Some can even gain you enough recognition that a publishing house will take up your work. The way to gain recognition is to submit your work to various places, a popular way to do this is through websites and contests.

Inkpop

Inkpop is an online community where teenagers submit books, short stories, poetry, and essays. If your work is popular than it will make it to the Top Pick list. When it makes it to that list, editors at HarperCollins Publishers will read the picks on the list and it's possible to recieve a publishing contract! Registration is free.
Book submissions must be a minimum of 10K words, everything else has no word count minimum. You must be at least 13 years old and can live anywhere.

Teen Ink

Teen Ink is a literary magazine, both in print and online. They have also published books containing compliations of their best published work. The magazine is printed monthly by the Young Authors Foundation, Inc. You can submit online or offline and can turn in fiction, non-fiction, poetry, reviews, opinion pieces, videos, articles, and art or photography. Registration is free. They also have summer programs and college guides. Every submission made is read by an editor and then chosen for publication. If your piece is chosen for publication it will reach schools, teachers, teens, and even celebrities all over the country. If you're published on the website, then people all over the world can read your work...if they speak English.

Skipping Stones

SS is a multicultural magazine for youth and adults. Pieces should have a cultural theme, talk about your heritage or a certain belief you have. There are many more ideas of what they want to see from you on their website. Compositions are required to be typed, double spaced, and less than 1,000 words. Submissions can be made through mail or e-mail. If your work is published you will receive copies of the issue you're published in. SS celebrates different backgrounds and cultures, so if you are interested in topics along those lines then this magazine is for you!

Teen Voices

TV is a literary and leadership magazine designed specifically for girls. It is based in Boston, so their leadership and journalism programs are for girls in Boston, like the Teen Editor program.. But, even if you don't live there you can still submit poetry, artwork, stories, and essays. You can subscribe to the magazine and submissions can be sent through mail or e-mail. TV's mission is, "To support and educate teen girls to amplify their voices and create social change through media." So, if you believe in girl power, go ahead and submit!


Of course, there is always the well known NaNoWriMo, National Movel Writing Month, which takes place November 1. Participants in the contest will write a novel of at least 50,000 words. The novel must be finished by November 31. You then submit your novel so that the words can be counted and you are then recorded as a winner, and your novel is deleted from their system. In previous months, winners have been able to obtain proof copies of their work for free from CreateSpace, you can put it on the market or just enjoy seeing your book bound.

Script Frenzy is NaNoWriMo's sister. Script Frenzy is also one month long, April 1 to April 31. This contest requires you to write a 100 page minimum script. Even if you don't get published, both this and NaNo are great exercises in writing discipline and working on a deadline.

It's hard to just keep writing when you feel like you've hit a wall or there's point because it won't get accepted anywhere. But, the only way to succeed is to keep trying. There are many, many sites and magazines out there that will give you a lesson in working under a deadline and submitting something. Have fun!

Julia Jumps In: Firefly

Something New!

I've asked my friend Julia to write a review for me. I hope she'll continue doing so, so that we can shake it up and get some new writings in here.


Hi there! Abbie asked me to write a review for her blog as a guest. I said "Yeah, of course!" After awhile I started to wonder 'What in the Sam heck am I going to write about!' So here it is: A review with my mind not made up.



So, back in 2002 was a show called Firefly. It went off the air after 11 episodes. This is due to a lack of publicity, making it difficult for the series to get a big following. It is a sci-fi, but don't condemn it just yet. It was first described to me as "cowboys in space". I know at first I was like "No way, I'm not watching that.' But then I did watch it. Although the description sounds ridiculous, it is somewhat accurate. The heroes remind you of old cowboys. Like Josey Wilkes ("The Outlaw Josey Wilkes" 1973). Like those old cowboys the main characters may not be on the right side of the law but they are still the good guys. Everything to them is black and white, there is no gray. But the lines are drawn by them not the government. Aboard their spaceship they are desperate but they stick to their code of honor.

The series is set five hundred years into the future, when the "World That Was" (Earth) can no longer sustain human life. Man then reaches out to other solar systems. The cool thing is that everyone changes from their native language to Chinese.... Cool. Huh? Because the human population grew too big (That made me laugh.) Once our race found a new planet we settled in. The "Inner Planets" formed a unified government to become "civilized". In other words: order, restrictions, obedience, and communism were accepted with a smile. The outer planets held a different approach. They became as self dependant as they could. The people kept to themselves and were less civilized, much like the Old West. Inevitably, the two sides went to war. The power hungry Alliance vs. the Brown Coat Resistance. The Resistance lost.


The losing side is where we find our heroes. In order to escape the repressive government. Ex-Sgt. Malcolm 'Mal' Reynolds and his second in command from the war, Zoe, buy a ship. The two build a band of loyal friends that become their crew. For an extra income they take on passengers which bring more excitement than the freedom loving crew would like. After their 11 episodes Firefly did end.

I strongly suggest you rent the box set of the series and watch this adventure series unfold. If I got you hooked then you will want to watch the movie Serenity.

Serenity is the movie that finishes the series off. You finally get the answers to your questions, and everything adds up. They connected everything! It was a brilliant ending to an already amazing idea. It's filled with adventure and hysterical one liners. But seriously watch the show before the movie; it's just better that way. Trust me.


Because it can't get much better then two war veterans, a hilarious pilot, an Alliance supporting whore, a preacher, a mercenary, an endearing mechanic, a doctor, his crazy sister (both are wanted fugitives), and a fed.
And don't forget the dinosaurs and monsters.


There you go a T.V. series and a movie! And if you want my pick for books check out Patricia Briggs. She writes urban fantasies. They're everything Twilight isn't, so they're worth reading. Check out the Mercy Thompson series and the Alpha Omega series.




Julia signing out, and signing off....


Julia and her writings can be found at http://julia-gilkeson.blogspot.com/ and http://whenyoulistenyouhear.blogspot.com/  Check her out and enjoy!

Spotlight on a Series

The Immortals Quartet
by Tamora Pierce

Tamora Pierce is one of my favorite authors; her books are fantasy with feminist overtones with the main characters being strong, capable girls. It is possible to read the different series of books out of order but this is the line-up:

Song of the Lioness Quartet
The Immortals Quartet
Protector of the Small Quartet
Tricksters Duology

The Immortals is my favorite series because it focuses on animals, specifically a magic where the person can speak to animals. Hasn't everybody wondered what their pets are thinking?

Book 1: Wild Magic

Daine is thirteen years old and running away from her village after the inhabitants run her out. Daine is aware that she has a connection with animals but is unaware that it is a form of magic. Daine's mother has just been killed by bandits and she doesn't know who her father is. Daine hires onto a pony run with a woman named Onua, Mistress of Horses for the Queen's Riders, a military group for the kingdom of Tortall.
Along the way, Onua and Daine are attacked by various immortals, spidrens (spiders with a human head) and Stormwings (birds with a human torso and head and wings made of steel feathers). They rescue the mage Numair from Stormwings, Numair is trapped in the body of a hawk. Numair is the most powerful mage in Tortall. Daine becomes his student when he realizes she possesses wild magic, the connection to animals and immortals that allows her to speak to them. After rescuing him, Onua and Daine meet Alanna, the King's Champion (and protaginist of the Song of the Lioness Quartet).
When the group arrives in Corus, the capital of Tortall, Daine decides to stay with her new friends as assistant to Onua for the Queen's Riders.
The group of young people training for the Riders travel to the summer training at Pirate's Swoop, the home of Alanna and her husband. Along the way, Daine and Numair continue Daine's training and learn that she can heal animals. At Pirate's Swoop Daine must call on all her power when Carthaki raiders surround the castle and threaten to kill everyone within. Daine must try to stop the enemy and keep a grip on her humanity.

Book 2: Wolf Speaker

Daine is now fourteen, she and Numair are full fledged student and teacher. Daine receives a summons from the wolf pack that took her in when her mother died about two years before. The wolves now live in Dunlath Valley, they summon Daine because the nobles who inhabit the valley are polluting the valley by cutting down trees, polluting the lake, and scaring off game.
Numair and Daine, along with the young dragon Kit, travel to Dunlath only to find that the nobles are plotting against King Jonathon. They are illegally mining black opals, a very rare and highly prized gem that is valued for its magical abilities. The nobles are sending the stones to the emperor of Carthak, Ozorne who may be responsible for the Cathaki pirates previously fought against.
While in the valley, Daine learns that she has the ability to not only place her mind inside the body of an animal, she can also turn into an animal. Numair and Daine must find a way to fight off deadly immortals and foil the nobles' plan before they can overthrow the king.

Book 3: Emperor Mage

Fifteen year old Daine is sent with a delegation from Tortall to Carthak to discuss a peace treaty with Emperor Ozorne, who is suspected to be the one who destroyed the barrier between the Divine Realms and the world allowing the immortals to come through. Some immortals are peaceful, like griffins and friendly centaurs. Others, like Stormwings, hurroks, Coldfangs, and spidrens, are deadly. 
Daine is asked for because the Emperor's prize birds are ill, the world knows about Daine's wild magic and she is asked to heal the birds. Numair is not safe while in Carthak, he escaped from the Emperor's dungeons when he was twenty-one after being falsely imprisioned for treason. 
While in Carthak, Daine makes friends with Ozorne's nephew and heir, Kaddar. Through Kaddar and many others Daine learns that the Carthaki empire and it's Emperor are cursed by the gods and a storm is coming, a storm that could destroy the empire. Daine's friend and mentor, the badger god gives Daine a new ability, she can bring dead animals back to life. Ozorne will do anything to keep his empire, including harming Daine and Numair. 
Daine must find a way to defeat the Emperor Mage while keeping war from breaking out; meanwhile the gods are planning something, something big that could determine the fate of an empire.

Book 4: The Realms of the Gods

Daine is now sixteen, she and Numair are preparing to fight their war against Ozorne and his allies, both immortals and humans. But, when she and Numair are fighting an unusual group of deadly beings they are transported to the Divine Realms, home of the gods, by none other then Daine's mother. There Daine learns that her father is actually a minor god of the hunt and that is why her mother now resides with him.
In the Realms Numair and Daine learn that Ozorne is allied with the Queen of Chaos.
Numair and Daine must find a way out of the Divine Realms so that they can rejoin their friends for the momentous battle against Ozorne. During their journey Daine discovers that Numair has strong feelings for her, but they must overcome their doubts about their age difference.
When Numair and Daine finally make it back home they must battle Ozorne and his army in the final battle that will determine everyone's fate.

Tamora Pierce has many other books like the Beka Cooper trilogy (also set in Tortall) and the Circle Universe books. As of now, the first two books have been released in the Beka Cooper trilogy, with the final to be released in 2011. A Circle book is slated for release in 2012 with another in the works.
Some common occurrences in Pierce's medieval-themed books are violence and premarital sex (although this does not occur in the Immortals or Protector Quartets), but the sex is not a dominant force in the books, the stories focus more on the characters and their happenings. Pierce says that the books closely follow the past where girls married young. Pierce also states that ignoring violence is irresponsible and that, "We need to face [cruelty and violence], even in books. Even in fantasy." While no sex or violent scenes are graphic, violence is a predominant force. I think this just makes the stories more realistic but if this not for you, it may be in your best interest to find a different book.

The Other Side of Egoism

This Side of Paradise
by F.Scott Fitzgerald

What can you really say about Fitzgerald that hasn't already been said? Not much, but then again maybe something new. His characters are not necessarily likable or identifiable but maybe that's OK.

The story follows Amory Blaine, a self-proclaimed egotist. He considers himself more intelligent and better looking than everyone around him, but sees nothing wrong with that. He spends his boyhood in Minneapolis and goes to finishing school at fifteen. Amory develops a close friendship with Catholic Church official Monsignor Darcy, a former lover of Amory's eccentric mother. But as Amory would later say, "It's just that religion doesn't seem to have the slightest bearing on life at my age."

Amory's greatest goal in life is to go to Princeton University, which he does. There he falls for his first love, Isabelle. Isabelle's rejection will be the first of several heartbreaks. After Amory and Isabelle break up, Amory goes overseas to fight in WWI. When the war ends Amory takes a job and apartment in New York City where he falls in love with the beautiful Rosalind. Rosalind is his most passionate relationship, they discuss marriage and a future together. But, Amory's lack of money works against him, Rosalind decides to marry a wealthy suitor whom her parents have been urging her to consider. Amory's heartbreak after their broken relationship is referenced to throughout the rest of the story. Amory enters a depression after the death of his mentor and friend Monsignor Darcy and goes on a binge drinking bout with friends, that is until Prohibition takes effect.

Eleanor is Amory's last relationship mentioned in the story, their time together lasts for a summer only. Eleanor is odd and different and their conflicting opinions of religion end their relationship. Even though Amory consistently claims aloud that religion is not for him, he has ties to it and constantly regards it. The story ends with Amory returning to Princeton and ending with his famous line, "I know myself, but that is all."

Honestly, this story is very slow and dull at times. While it's a great representation of the early 20th century and the thoughts of an egotist turned "personage", it's not an easy read. But, I'm glad I did read it because it shows what happens when life does not go as expected when you consider yourself above others. A main theme throughout the book is snobbery and class relations. Amory is perfectly open with his disdain of the poor and Princeton is shown as an endless round of social clubs and social status. But, at the end of the story Amory only has twenty-four dollars to his name so irony is a constant concept.